Transfer Day - Complete!

What a wonderful day! We arrived at the clinic at around 9:15 am this morning and got checked in. We were both asked to refrain from wearing any strong smelling anything, so no soap, no cologne or perfume, no lotion, no deodorant, no hair products, and I elected to go make-up free. I was asked to drink a few cups of water to ensure my bladder was full (which helps push up the uterus to make it more visible during the ultrasound as they're guiding the catheter through the uterine cavity to place the embryo). After I had my blood drawn, I was given a Valium and then escorted to the transfer room. In addition to the one transferred in to me today, we found out that one embryo was frozen, and four others are still in the wings to develop a bit further. We will find out tomorrow sometime how many will be frozen in all.

Transfer went very smoothly and we were overcome with emotion upon viewing our little embie for the first time. It was graded as a BB, which is very good. A's are hardly ever given, so we and the doctors were pleased. To our eyes, it was perfect and so very beautiful.

Before the transfer! We both had to "suit up".

During the transfer. The nurse is pointing to the place where our embryo is being placed in my uterus.

Viewing a photograph of our embryo for the first time.

Our beautiful little embie <3

Proud and hopeful and already in love with what could be <3

I am on bed rest for the remainder of today and then very minimal activity tomorrow. I am to continue taking my estrogen 3x a day, progesterone shots 1x a day, prenatal vitamin, and baby aspirin. Implantation can occur anywhere from 1-5 days after the embryo is transferred. Please join us in remaining positive and optimistic that our little embie will get comfy cozy in my uterus and want to stay. 

We welcome your prayers, positive thoughts, and good vibes as we enter in to this 10-day waiting period until beta day on August 25th! This is often the most emotionally difficult part of the process, as we anxiously await the outcome of this phase of our journey. It will be a challenge to stay away from Google and not put too much stock in to what I feel or don't feel as we inch closer to beta day, but we are determined to hold on to hope and have faith and believe that this is going to bring us our miracle. Thank you all for the thoughtful messages of support this morning and last night - they meant so much to us and helped us feel as though you were all near in spirit. Thank you, thank you <3

Oh sweet embie. Please stay with us. Please continue to grow. We love you so much already.

Transfer time is set!

We have been assigned a time! Our little golden embie will be transferred on Saturday at 10 am (so 7 am West coast time)!! While we remain somewhat guarded, we are really starting to get excited now and can't wait to "meet" our embryo on Saturday morning. We will get a picture to take home, which will be treasured and proudly displayed on our fridge so we can remain focused on a positive outcome.

So, come Saturday morning, if you could, please say an extra prayer, send up an extra positive vibe, light an extra candle, think an extra positive thought, whatever it is that you wish to do to send a little more positivity into the universe on our behalf -- it would all be greatly appreciated. Thank you for sharing in our journey and for holding on to hope right along with us :)

Fertilization Report!

The IVF lab at our clinic called bright and early this morning with an encouraging report: 8 out of 10 eggs successfully fertilized! This means that we are ON for our Saturday transfer!! By the end of the week, the embryologists believe we will have between 3-5 embryos as our final number (on average, 30-40% of the embryos will not be viable by week's end) so this means that we will have our 1 embryo to transfer and then a few embryos to freeze, should this initial IVF attempt not take. We are VERY thankful for this good news and can rest a bit easier as we march steadily onward towards our transfer on Saturday. 

I am feeling very bloated today (according to our  nurses, this is to be expected post-retrieval) but the pain in my ovaries has lessened, so I am walking a bit more normally. For the remainder of the week, I am on a vaginal estrogen 3x a day, steroid 2x a day, antibiotic 2x a day, baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin, and progesterone injection regimen -- so I am still not feeling completely ship shape, but I am hopeful my body will adjust in time. The estrogen, progesterone and baby aspirin will continue on after the transfer up until beta day and if we get a positive result, the estrogen and progesterone will continue through most of the first trimester. In short, I have quite the medication schedule. But I am resolved to do whatever is necessary and it is ALL worth it if it gets us our family!

So what's next? We will get a call on Thursday letting us know what time our transfer will be on Saturday and depending on how early it is scheduled, I will have an acupuncture treatment either before or after the transfer procedure. And then, after Saturday, we wait! 10 loooong days until our beta blood test on the 25th. J and I are very encouraged and excited and at times, can't quite believe we have reached this stage in the process. For the first time in a long time, we're allowing ourselves to dream, and I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, this time will be IT and we'll have joyful news to share with our family and friends after so many long years of heartache. For the first time in a long time, we are filled with hope. Thank you for being here with us and for sharing in our journey <3

Retrieval Report

We were up at 5 and on the road by 5:45 -- early start to our day! I had a rough ride up North as I was battling pretty severe nausea thanks to taking my prescribed antibiotic on an empty stomach (doctor's orders). But we made it and checked in on time, 7:15. They had trouble getting my IV hooked up but once that was in, I was off to surgery. They were able to "harvest" 10 eggs! I originally had 17 that were developing but since I stopped medication a day early due to rising estrogen, the remaining 7 eggs that they had hoped to give a chance to catch up in size did not mature. In short, my doctor chose my health over the total egg number retrieved and we accept and appreciate his judgement, as we know he has my best interest at heart. We were hoping for a few more only because not all will fertilize or develop properly, so we just have to hope we end up with 4 or 5 embryos to work with in the end (resulting in one good embryo to transfer and a few more to freeze should we have to try again). We will get a "fertilization report" sometime tomorrow morning, so we will know more then. If 3 or less fertilized, protocol is to do the transfer on day three (this Thursday) but that is not ideal as they would be less developed at that stage, thus the rate of success would be slightly lower. After all we've been through to get to this point, that is not an appealing thought. But, it's out of our control and we just have to continue to have faith in the process and hope for the best! However, if 4 or more fertilize and develop as they should, we will be on track for our Saturday, August 15 transfer - this would be the best situation and the one we are hoping for!

I am in a moderate amount of pain and dizzy and nauseous off and on, but I'm resting at home and the pain pills I was prescribed are helping. I must be mindful of any symptoms that might indicate ovarian hypertsimulation in the next few days, but so far, none have emerged. Of course, Jason is taking excellent care of me! Please help us stay positive as we move forward - positive thoughts, prayers, vibes, etc are all appreciated more than you know! Stay tuned, important details to report tomorrow...

Left: before surgery; top right: after retrieval; bottom right: resting up at home!

A Change in Plans: Egg Retrieval Update!

First things first: my egg retrieval has been moved up to MONDAY! As in the day after tomorrow!! Long story short, we left the clinic this morning thinking that retrieval would be Tuesday, but after my lab results came back this afternoon, the doctor changed his mind due to my rising estrogen levels and moved retrieval up a day to Monday! So no more stimulation meds and we move on to Lupron and HCG for tonight's injections. More on that below. But retrieval! It's so soon! Which mean...embryo transfer will be a week from TODAY!

Okay. So.

Thursday night was rough. I cried for the first time since beginning this whole process, as the injections just really, really burned. The Menopur has always burned but my injection sites are so tender now after so many pokes and prods and from the medications themselves that I just broke down. And once I started, it was hard to stop. It was like a flood of emotion (and the overload of hormones doesn't help). I'm scared and I'm sad that we have to do this to build our family and I'm anxious for the days and weeks ahead. So this is me keepin' it real. In the other photos, I've smiled because even though the injections are never pleasant, I felt okay. But Thursday, a little grimace was all I could manage, so that's what I did. Also, behold, my poor needle-poke ridden belly. At this point (not counting tonight's injections), I have had 22 injections of three different meds in that little 3-inch radius around my belly button. What's interesting is that the needle marks are showing up more now than they did those first few nights. Thankfully, after the retrieval, my belly will get a rest and J will start giving me progesterone injections in my butt cheeks. Yay? haha

Track marks and ice packs. One day at a time... we CAN do this!!

Let's talk egg retrieval! Tonight, which is what is called "trigger day", J will give me a Lupron shot as well as a shot of HCG. The HCG primes my eggs for retrieval and must be given 36 hours before my scheduled retrieval time (which is now Monday morning at 8:15 am -- we have to be there at 7:15 am so they can prep me for surgery...which means we'll leave home at 5:45 am). The Lupron (in this case) will help stabilize/suppress my rising estrogen levels and help my body not hyperstimulate following egg retrieval, which is the most common time for OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) to occur. Tomorrow, we go up north again to the clinic for another ultrasound and more blood work, and I'll take another shot of Lupron. Come Monday morning, I will pop a prescribed Valium, get knocked out via IV sedation, and they'll wheel me into a surgery room for egg retrieval, where we see how many eggs we really have to work with. J will provide his contribution, the eggies will be fertilized and then over a span of five days, we'll get daily updates on how they're developing. One will be selected as the primary candidate (best quality)-- which will be our GOLDEN EMBRYO -- and will be the one implanted into my uterus on transfer day (NEXT SATURDAY!!).

Following the egg retrieval, J will be giving me progesterone in oil shots for several weeks (all the way through the post-transfer 10-day waiting period and then for several weeks and possibly months longer if a pregnancy is achieved to help support early development, as progesterone production is vitally important and I don't produce enough on my own). I will also be taking an antibiotic the day before and five days after the retrieval, as well as a steroid (not sure what that's for, but okay). Lastly, beginning the day after the retrieval, I will begin taking a three-times-a-day vaginal estrogen suppository (see, now there's something you probably could have done without knowing but trust me, I so wish I didn't have to be the one to actually take it!). The estrogen will help thicken and plump my uterine lining for better odds of implantation once our little embryo is put into my uterus.

So there you have it. We are definitely in the thick of things - which means all of the emotions! I will write a blog update on Monday sometime post-retrieval to let you all know how many eggs were "harvested" and then, over the course of next week, we'll see how they develop post-fertilization. Stay tuned! :) And also...let's do this!!

Love you guys, thanks for everything <3

Follicle Check Ultrasound #2 Results

Hello hello! I had blood work and an ultrasound this morning, both of which went well. The phlebotomist had to take blood from the top of my right hand again (thankfully, she tapped a different vein) but it was otherwise painless. As for the ultrasound, there has been definite growth! The follicles are now all in the 15/16/17 mm range. The nurse actually used the word "beautiful" when I asked her how they look, so that's always good! Uterine lining looks great, too. They want the eggs to reach the 23-28mm range so we're getting there! A few more days should do it -- Grow, eggies, grow!

And in this case, the thing is growing mature eggs :)

We added in the Ganirelix shot last night, so for the remaining days of follicle stimulation, I will be taking those three med injections. I'm definitely beginning to feel the "growing pains" that my ovaries are going through but aside from lots of aches, twinges, and a general heaviness in my lower abdomen (which has made walking around at any other pace but leisurely relatively uncomfortable), it's not been terrible and hey, I'll take it.

So, in short, things are looking great! We are definitely encouraged and feeling like things are going smoothly and as well as we could have hoped. That being said...we do have to remember that just because things are going well doesn't mean we're guaranteed success. I don't say that to be a downer but rather to guard my own heart. This is a reality of the "trying to conceive" process and it's hard to accept when you're so invested in the outcome, but there you go. We just take it one day at a time and continue to hope for the very best, and thankfully, the positive trajectory of the process thus far has helped us remain positive and kept our outlook bright. We are certainly grateful for that!!

If you'd like to do a little light reading/watch a few informative videos on the actual IVF process (specifically the retrieval and transfer processes), here are a few links:

http://www.shadygrovefertility.com/ivf-process-getting-started

http://www.advancedfertility.com/ivfprocedures.htm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eO27B563GYg

http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/ivf-sci

Lastly, a post wouldn't be complete without me thanking you all for taking the time to read my updates, but especially, for supporting us and loving us through this process. We're glad you're here and we're grateful for your optimism and well wishes. xoxo

Updates, Day 5 of Injections and First Follicle Ultrasound

*** Note: Now that we're in the thick of things, these updates are going to become more frequent, as I have ultrasounds scheduled every day this week and through the weekend. And if all goes according to plan, the egg retrieval will be NEXT TUESDAY, with embryo transfer slated for Sunday, August 16. Wow. We're getting closer! ***

First things first: we started the injections this past Friday (July 31) and so far, so good! Mild headaches and nausea, some fatigue and some bloating, and my ovaries are beginning to ache but nothing crazy and no heart related symptoms as of yet. And I hope that continues to be the case! I know that as the medication builds up in my system, the symptoms are likely to become more pronounced, but for now, each passing day feels like a small victory. J has been such a trooper with giving me the shots -- the first, as predicted, was the hardest but now he can get them prepared in about 15 minutes and when he actually gives the injection, there is no hesitation. He told me that while he feels badly about causing me discomfort, giving me the injections helps him feel involved which is so important. I'm proud of him for working past his needle phobia and so very grateful for his help!

Icing my injection sites post-injections: Day 1, 2, and 3

Which brings us to today. After getting home around 9 pm last night from my after-work acupuncture appointment up north and getting my day 4 injections, I had blood work done first thing this morning at 7am, went to work for about an hour and then had my first ultrasound appointment at a local gynecology office that our clinic partners with for during-the-week ultrasound appointments (thank GOD -- we will travel up north this weekend for an ultrasound but I'm so thankful I don't have to make that drive every.single.day). The blood draw was a challenge, per usual. No good veins in my arms so after applying a heat pack to the top of my right hand, she finally struck gold. As for my ultrasound, I heard back from my nurse and the results are in: after 4 days of 75 iu's of Menopur + 100 iu's of Follistim, I have several follicles that are around the same size and are right where they should be size-wise at this point, so she said things are looking great! I get to skip my blood work and ultrasound tomorrow (yay!) so the next time I do those will be Thursday, August 6. I'm so pleased things are shaping up nicely!!

The only bummer I have to report is my lab results didn't come back -- and they were ordered STAT. So, the clinic is not pleased. If my labs don't come back every day, that can actually be dangerous because they won't be able to monitor my hormone levels to watch out for OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) and that's really bad -- lab results also help the doctor determine medication dosage. So, starting Friday, I will have to drive all the way up to Carmel every day for my ultrasounds and lab work. Huge bummer -- it will mean I have to take even more time off work and it's just an additional hurdle and hardship. So much of this process is out of our control and that can be difficult. I guess we do what we have to do and I'm just extremely thankful my boss is willing to jump these hurdles with us when they're tossed our way.

Because I didn't get my lab work back, tonight's injections will be the same as they have been. But beginning tomorrow, we'll add another med to the rotation. In addition to the Menopur and Follistim, we will add in a Ganirelix injection. So, that is where things are likely to get more uncomfortable. I know it's all necessary in order to grow those eggs but I'm definitely anxious about adding in a third medication. One day at a time...and also, grow, eggies, grow!!

Thank you all for your amazing love and support as we continue down this path! We love you!