Time to change it up

Yes, friends, it's time to change it up. My mood, I mean. It's time to let the frustration and discouragement go and replace those nasty negative emotions with positive ones. It is the season of thanks, after all...

Gratitude that we get to try again, that we have two more beautiful embies on ice waiting for us, one of which could very well be - if it's our turn for a miracle - our long-awaited and desperately wished for "take-home baby."

Gratitude for the fact that my body is handling this the very best way it knows how - yes, my lining has been slow to grow but it's still growing. I'm asking so much of my body right now and it's doing what it can to oblige, taking one for the team time and again, with only the smallest of protests. And my heart - my heart hasn't wigged out on me once through this entire process and I can't tell you how thankful I am that it's holding steady and allowing us to continue plugging along towards our dream. Without its cooperation, this journey could very well have ended before we'd even begun.

Gratitude for a wonderful husband who loves me as I am, supports me in every way that I need, and reminds me when I am feeling worn down and hopeless that I am not broken, that we are in this together, that he believes in our family, and is proud of me for staying strong in the face of adversity, when, after so many years, it would have been far easier to wave our little white flag in defeat. I am proud of me and of us, too, and so very thankful that he is my partner in this life. J, you truly are the tops.

I am thankful for each of YOU, for supporting us through this experience, for showing us so much kindness and empathy, for offering words of encouragement, for commiserating in our sadness and disbelief, for sharing in our dream of parenthood and hoping right alongside us that one day, this dream of ours will finally be realized. We are so appreciative because, well, we get by with a {lot of help} from our friends and family. We couldn't do it without you. Your support and love mean the world to us and help us feel less alone, less isolated, and far more optimistic. Thank you.

Yes, this journey is difficult. It comes with many challenges and risks, but in the end, we made the choice to embark on this particular path, so will hold on to each other, take the plunge and continue to hope for the best. And not lose sight of our blessings along the way. Easier said than done at times, but well worth the effort because life goes on whether or not we get what we wish for and I don't want to blink and miss it.