Today is cycle day 1. I have a baseline ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning at 10:45am which is supposed to tell us if I can proceed with taking the ovary stimulation meds to get this fresh IVF cycle underway. I'm to begin meds on Sunday, if all looks well.
However. We are now facing a potential game-changer, all thanks to my bladder. I thought I had a UTI. I started having some bladder issues last Saturday which persisted through the weekend and in to Monday. I called my clinic, described my symptoms, and because bladder infections are very uncommon for me, they were comfortable prescribing me an antibiotic over the phone, which I began on Monday night. I finished the antibiotic yesterday morning and all seemed to be much improved -- until last night. I was urinating so frequently and battling such severe cramps that I didn't fall asleep until 2am. Despite the fact that I have not had anything to drink since 9pm last night, the urination issues are persisting. Not only that, but I'm having the worst period pain I've had in years - are the two things related somehow? I have absolutely no clue. All I know, is that I've never had this trouble before. And I'm supposed to start meds this weekend. Are you freaking kidding me?!
Our ultrasound tomorrow could show uterine fibroids which (depending on the type and location) could be the cause of my urination frequency - but they would have to be removed, which would mean we'd have to delay this cycle for a few months. And the procedure expense would be out of pocket. The ultrasound could also show absolutely nothing - which means it would be up to us to make the decision to delay in order to get to the bottom of why my bladder is acting this way. I don't know what to hope for or against, in this scenario. My bladder issues could resolve on their own in a week...or not. We just don't know. I could wake up tomorrow and feel better all around. Sleep through the night without waking up several times to void my bladder. Or not. I'm just so freaking mad and worried and frustrated. I can't even believe this, to be honest. I hate that this is happening.
Per our loan contract, once I take that first dose of medication (which would be this Sunday), we have officially begun treatment. So, despite the fact that my bladder issues may continue or worsen, I would have to keep taking the meds or be in breach of contract, which would forfeit our cycle. We'd be DONE. Not to mention the fact that I really have NO IDEA why I'm urinating so often - the cause could be nothing to worry about, something that will resolve on its own, or I could be potentially ignoring something important. Something that could be a real health concern and/or something that could potentially have a negative effect on the outcome of our IVF attempt. Bottom line: this is our LAST shot at this. Pumping my body full of hormones, even when I'm feeling normal, is a risk and it makes me feel like garbage. So pumping myself full of hormones when I'm not feeling normal, and when there is something going on that I'm not attending to, that's very risky and, quite frankly, irresponsible. I have to have minor surgery to remove my eggs. If there is an infection somewhere in my body, or another medical issue that's going untreated, that's also a risk. What if not resolving the bladder issue somehow affects egg quality or the number my body is able to produce? Or somehow affects my body's response to the meds?
Regardless of the reason why a decision would be made to delay this cycle, delaying would mean having to wait until May. This month (March) was a good time to start again because the timing of the egg retrieval (and thus, embryo creation) would fall during J's Spring break schedule. The same cannot be said for April -- too many scheduling conflicts. So we'd have to wait until May, when school is over for the semester.
I am absolutely beside myself. In addition to being scared that something is really wrong with me and that whatever it is will require treatment of its own, I'm just so terribly, terribly disappointed that we may have to delay this for a few more months -- and not because I just need some more time to rest my body and mind, but because I have to look in to something ELSE to do with my health. I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I'm just so incredibly sick of all of this, I can't even tell you. The timing is just so unbelievably unfortunate. I've been feeling absolutely fine for months. I just don't understand why this is happening now.
I'm sorry this post is kind of all over the place. I'm just really, really upset. I'll let you know what we find out/decide tomorrow.
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